25 Drabbles
by The Countess of Monte Cristo
Summary: Musically inspired drabbles based in the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles universe. Spoilers for entire series.
1. As Long As You Love Me

_A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I've written anything, so I decided to do some challenges to get the creative juices flowing and stave off writer's block. This one is a music challenge. The challenge is to create a drabble based on a song. The catch is that the drabble must be completed in the time it takes for a song to end. Now, I modified this challenge a bit because I don't do so well on timed challenges (and I'm a slower typist than most). I gave myself one song duration to brainstorm, another duration to write the drabble and then a third play-through to edit the piece. So, without further ado, here's the first chapter._

* * *

So much pressure. That's all he felt, like a weight on his chest, dragging him down and making him to drown. That is how Fai felt every second of every day he traveled with Syaoran and the others. He could fool them into believing him to be the carefree member of their party, but he could never fool himself. He was a traitor, their future betrayer. He didn't deserve Sakura's love, Mokona's kindness, Syaoran's honesties, or Kurogane's sacrifices. He'd slay these people to get his brother back, perhaps not without a second thought, and certainly not without regret. However, he was Fei-Wong Reed's pawn through and through. But he tacked that oh-so-fake smile on his face, even though deep down his heart was frowning.


	2. Brave

Bravery. Yes, Kurogane was right: that was indeed something Fai lacked. He was a coward, running from far more than any of the others knew. He ran from a past so drenched in blood, he could drown in it if he let himself. He ran from a king determined to die and take as many people with him as he could. He ran from the man who saved him from the tower and gave him a mission that made him sick to his stomach. And most of all he ran from his companions, keeping them distant in the vain hope of saving them.

He was a coward, and until his demons were confronted, he had every right to be. Not until the man he was destined to kill sacrificed his own arm to save his would-be murderer's life did he find his reason to be brave.


	3. Carry On

Like so many other nights, Kurogane and Fai lounged around their shared bedroom drinking. It had become something of a ritual with the two that when they were alone, caps and corks alike were popped. Usually Fai engaged in idyll chatter, with Kurogane drinking in silence or supplying monosyllabic responses (usually in the form of grunts), until of course, that wily alcohol began to loosen tongues.

Sometimes such heavy drinking led to games and other times it led to fights. Tonight, however, was something different. There was a melancholic feeling in the air. They had failed yet again to find one of Sakura's ever elusive feathers. It had been over a week since one of the fragile white memories was found, and all members of the party were beginning to lose hope.

"Do you think this journey will ever end, Kuro-mi?" A slightly tipsy Fai asked, his eyes drifting to the immediate right of Kurogane.

"It damn well better…" He didn't have to add by now that his home was what he truly longed for at this journey's conclusion.

"Sometimes…I don't think I want it to end. Not that I don't want Sakura to regain all her memories, far from it. I just think we're having too much fun." He smiled blearily up at his companion as he said the last.

Kurogane snorted. "Trust you to think that getting attacked by irate villagers, entering deadly races, risking our lives on a daily basis, and participating in a wild goose chase of epic proportions is _fun_."

Fai laughed in his usual falsetto, although this laugh seemed to be hiding more than revealing. "Well, after everything else that's happened in my life, everything I've been through, yes, comparatively, this is a barrel of laughs."

Kurogane paused. It was rare of Fai to open up like this, so he decided to do something rare in return and offer some advise. "It's not about looking back. Just look to the future and carry on."


	4. City of Wind

Falling had become a sort of ritual with Fai. Weak knees, weak arms, and a weak heart were a dangerous combination. Never learning to pick himself up, he had relied on others to break his fall, but never once did anyone pick him up after a tumble. His father was the one to push him in the first place, and Fei-Wong Reed had merely cushioned the fall with false promises and veiled threats. Ashura had lightened his load one moment then turned around and burdened him more than anyone. Under such weight, who could blame him for that fall from grace. Then he'd met Kurogane. The reticent warrior was always nearby, a steadying hand at the ready and warm arms strong enough to take the wizard away…


	5. Class A Team

His sunken gaze bored into Kurogane as he stared him down. There was loathing in his golden eye, a hatred that burned like a growing flame, but Kurogane suspected that that hatred wasn't aimed at him. His ire was directed inwards to the creature that he'd become. But more emotions swam in his eye than hate, and none of them were pleasant. Exasperation, fear, and disgust…most of all disgust.

Even though he'd been cold and distant, he clung to the warrior's arm as if his life depended on it, and for all intents and purposes: it did.

His eye remained locked with Kurogane's as it always did when he fed, as if a trying to provoke a reaction from the stoic ninja. His sunken cheeks working to suck sustenance from the warrior's weeping wrist.

Fai never showed shame during their feeding sessions; no, the shame was Kurogane's. Like an addict, he was sluggish and wan until his next fix, ghostly pale and wraith thin, and Kurogane had to suffer the knowledge that this degradation was his fault.

This warped intimacy always wore on them both. After, it was all they could do to remain in the same room as the other. So many twisted emotions were pent up inside them both, and neither had any desire to vent in any other way then the bloodletting.


	6. Darkside

Fai appeared to the casual onlooker to be a bumbling idiot, ever carefree and relaxed. He was the perfect picture of happiness. But occasionally, Kurogane caught glimpses of something deeper hidden in his sparkling eyes. There was pain in those cerulean orbs, and emotions far darker than his outward appearance projected. Being a ninja, Kurogane was adept at reading people, and he saw shame, guilt, and sorrow buried deep within. The wizard cloaked his true self well, but his dark side was there, below the surface, but always there. Kurogane just hoped that the kids would be shielded from it when the dam broke and it finally bubbled to the surface.


	7. Desperado

Once you've lost everything, it's hard to recover. Sometimes it takes someone pulling you back from the edge for you to see that life may be worth living once more. For Kurogane this was certainly the case. He'd lost his home, his family, and his pride in one fell swoop. Everything precious swept away by the whim of fate. As his beloved mother lie, dead, cradled tenderly in one arm, his father's sword, all he had left of that brave and loving man, drawn in his other hand, he wept. One thought kept chasing itself around his brain: _why me?_

It was in the depth of his madness that he met the person who saved him from a sham of a life of despair and bloodshed. She brought him back to his senses, cleaned him up, and made him part of her royal guard. And for that he would always be grateful to Princess Tomoyo, even if he failed to see the reasons behind some of her actions.


	8. Don't You Worry Child

It had been hard at first, to adjust to a normal life with King Ashura. Of course, living in a castle and being the official prince of Celes was anything but normal. For many nights on end he had terrible nightmares. Nightmares filled with dark towers, the odor of decaying corpses, and the sound of pitiful wailing.

But for all the nights filled with pain, there were days of joy. Studying magic came naturally to Fai, and he buried himself in his studies, using the books as a barrier to keep his dark memories at bay.

Ashura was always kind to him. He'd bring him special treats in the daytime, and often had to physically pry him away from his beloved books in order to take a break in the fresh air. Even at night the king would stop by young Fai's bedroom to check on him and whisper assurance that he shouldn't worry, and that everything would be alright.


	9. Forever Now

His past had finally caught up with him. All his sins slammed in his face like a door forever open, now suddenly closed. They knew. They all knew the truth of who and what he was: a murderer. His own twin dead because of his selfishness, and his friends now soon to follow. All for the sake of an ill conceived wish that deep down he knew could never be granted. _What do I do now?_ He knew he couldn't take Kurogane's life; he was surprised he could even raise his hand against the friend that had sacrificed so much for him on so many occasions. _What do I do now?!_


	10. Forgive Me(For Giving A Damn)

Fai was disoriented, but he could feel the cold, hard cement beneath his frame. At first he was confused. He had been dying, he knew as much. He had felt relief at that fact. He would finally be reunited with his family and the brother he loved.

But then like a dam bursting, memories flooded back to him in a crashing wave fit to make him drown. Kurogane had picked him up, saved his life, cared enough about him to become prey to the monster that he had become.

This newest development in their relationship forced Fai's hand. He had to push Kurogane away. They couldn't become close again. He'd cared enough about Fai to save him, and that couldn't be forgiven. They had been swimming in dangerous waters for a while now, and Fai knew where that path led. He had things he had to do, and he couldn't let Kurogane become a hindrance. It was painful, but this had to be done. His self-destructive nature had backfired magnificently, and he'd lost a great deal in the process: Syaoran's soul, his left eye, his freedom, and Kurogane's friendship.

So he sat up, lone eye locked with his savior. He knew which words to use, which words would cut the deepest. He took a breath, plastered on a dim smile, and said, "Good morning, Kurogane."


	11. Going Under

Fai was not happy with his fate. He knew his lot in life, knew the path he had to take, for it had been set out for him when he was a small child by a man with a similar wish to his own. He was the pawn of the enemy, a double agent, and he hated every minute of the deception.

But he was drowning in that very deception. He was now wading in a sea of uncertainty. Falling into the trap of caring for those he'd have to betray. Little by little, the sweet Sakura, the steadfast Syoaran, the caring Kurogane, and the mischievous Mokona were breaking his resolve.

Would he have the strength needed to do what had to be done; what he'd always planned on doing…or was it weakness that the betrayal demanded?


	12. Homeless Heart

Fai did not know why he sought solace from Kurogane. To say that he was a kindred spirit would have been incorrect. At least as far as Fai knew they had little in common. Fai was the jokester, putting on a show, making his friends laugh, then hiding his own aching heart behind the closing curtains of his performance. Kurogane had no such inclinations. He hid, too, and maybe his past was the source of his reticence. Perhaps his original statement was false. Maybe Kurogane really did resemble his soul.

Though Fai hid behind his masks, Kurogane was determined to find him, the real him. Maybe they were both just lonely souls desperately searching for someone in whom to confide. Kurogane's strength necessitated he be a savior, and Fai needed to be saved.

Kurogane was lost in the dark, and Fai was out in the cold. Together they could find light and warmth.


	13. I Miss You

There were times when the pain of loss struck Fai so hard that it took his breath away. At times like those, he'd tease Kurogane mercilessly, trying desperately to distract himself from his memories.

Though at night with no respite in sight, nightmares often came. Twisted dreams of dark towers and towering, dark figures. Try as he might, he couldn't forget his twin, no, not for an instant. Ashura also haunted his thoughts on a subliminal level, never letting him rest. Two figures from his past, tied directly to his future.

With every glance in the mirror or every mention of Yama, he remembered them, and he missed them. Sometimes he fancied he could hear his twin's voice, urging him on in his quest, begging to be saved, and advising him not to get too close to those he'd have to betray. Yes, his twin meant everything to him, and he loved King Ashura, despite it all, as well. For them he would do anything. Even commit treason on the people for whom he'd come to care so much.


	14. Into the Ocean

Sometimes Fai felt as if he were drowning in a sea of painful memories, letting wave upon wave of sorrow crash over him again and again. Each wave like a sharp stab, taking his breath away and leaving him to bleed out, unable to ebb the flow of memories or the flow of blood.

He was nothing but a hurt child on the inside, trying to find comfort any way he could, plastering fake smile after fake smile on his face in the vague hope that maybe the mask would start to become the reality. So he'd tease and taunt, act flippant and careless, when really all he felt was emptiness. He was unworthy of the great people he traveled with as broken and lonely as he was. Fai only hoped that they would never realize who was really behind his carefully constructed mask of a whole man.


	15. Just Give Me A Reason

The wizard and the warrior were so like a pair of thieves, and many things were stolen between the two friends turned lovers. At first it was glances, stolen only occasionally, eyes lingering for longer than was absolutely necessary. Then it was caresses: a lingering touch here, a casual brush of the shoulders there. When the first kiss was stolen, so too was the first fight.

That night, Fai talked in his sleep, and Kurogane stole a second to listen. He whispered confessions, many things he'd been holding in for most of their journey: his guilt, his sorrow…and a name: Yuui. Clearly there were scars on his heart that his bright smile tried so hard to conceal. But when unconscious, deeply buried truths resurfaced.

Kurogane had no real desire to question him on his past; his own was an area he'd not care to relive, so instead, the next night he simply poured his companion a drink, hoping he was just a little bent…and not broken.


	16. Linger

Syaoran never questioned his quest. He never stopped to ask himself why he was doing all of this. If he did, the answer would have been simple. He never felt used for all his trouble. He was happy to help the princess in any way that he could. He never thought to ask for anything in return. He had all he wanted.

Yes, perhaps others would think him a fool for risking his life for someone who didn't even remember him. Yes, they might even think he was wrapped around the princess's little finger.

But deep down inside Syaoran knew that memories cannot be completely erased. And as he looked as Sakura, he could see something like recognition lingering in her eyes. That made all his sacrifices worth it.


	17. Little Things

Fai had many habits. Granted the majority of them annoyed the warrior beyond belief, but some…a very few _some_ were slightly endearing. For example, when the two were drinking together, Fai always carefully poured Kurogane's glass, and even gave him the last of whatever bottle they were currently drinking.

One habit was something of a nuisance, however. Fai's hair continued to grow at an alarming rate over the course of their journey, and it tended to fall in the man's face with painful frequency. Therefore, he'd developed the habit of tossing his head (which at first Kurogane had taken to be some sort of nervous twitch) to remove the bangs from his field of vision. Kurogane found the gesture silly at first, then came to accept it as part of the wizard's charm.

Of course, this little foible came into play one day during a skirmish. Fai's hair had apparently gotten in his way while fighting the hostile locals of a new world, and he narrowly missed getting impaled on some sort of farming implement. It was only after rescuing the idiot mage did Kurogane demand he cut his hair.

This led to another realization: Fai had a habit of being completely pig-headedly stubborn. The ensuing chase had lasted about two hours. Kurogane brandishing his sword and threatening to cut off that mop of hair, and Fai running for his hair's life.


	18. Madness

What had he done? How could he have…? NO! This couldn't be real. The sword in his hands couldn't be real, no more real than the crimson blood staining it and his too white hands. He hadn't…The princess was still alive, yes, she had to be. He hadn't killed her. That was impossible. He loved that girl like a daughter and yet…_no_. None of this was happening. In the back of his mind he could just make out the sounds of shouting. Syoaran and Kurogane, perhaps? Yes, this scene, were it real (_no it wasn't!_)_,_ would certainly give them a shock. The warm sensation of rough but surprising gentle hands on his head and sword arm weren't real either. Nor was the voice that told him not to harm anyone else with the damnable sword, not even himself. Yes, there was an idea, run himself through, grief stricken and mad. Perhaps then he could wake up, and this nightmare would end.


	19. Mirror

They were polar opposites in every conceivable way. One fair, one dark; one lanky, one well-muscled. While one was clad head to toe in black and red, the other was draped in white and blue. But their differences far exceeded mere physical appearance. Their very personalities clashed magnificently. One was happy-go-lucky and laid back while the other was terse and tense. The fair one reveled in his easy going nature while the dark one detested his reticent nature. The white one was a magic caster, a wizard of the highest rank, while the black one was strength incarnate, a warrior of immeasurable skill.

But like the phoenix and dragon, they were two sides of a coin, two parts of a whole, and a reflection of each other.


	20. Some Nights

Bad luck was the constant companion of the dimensional travelers: the sixth member of their party. It followed them around relentlessly, and at every turn made their lives difficult.

Sometimes it was hard to continue on with their journey with so many obstacles in their path, and so many torments in their pasts. It was easy for the five of them to succumb to despair in the dead of night, each alone with their thoughts and memories (or lack thereof).

For Fai, he never knew what he stood for, what he was fighting for, so lost was his soul. Kurogane knew he fought to protect those he loved, but it was hard to leave his beloved princess and home. Syaoran knew it was for Sakura's sake he continued on, but without her love, he, too, felt empty inside. Sakura struggled with the gaps in her memory, burdened by the lost friend she knew nothing of. Mokona's pain was seeing the others so in despair and being unable to help.

But they found comfort in one another, although it was still hard to find the determination to keep fighting, keep searching, keep _living_.


	21. Time After Time

Confusion was nothing new to the wizard. His entire life had been nothing but an endless series of events that were both cruel and unusual. His own birth had doomed him, and curse upon curse laid upon him sealed his fate. His was an existence of bloodshed, living at the cost of the lives of those he loved.

He didn't deserve the friends that he cherished now. The secrets he held in his heart were monumental, and should they be revealed, he would be left alone again.

He had been lost, and Ashura found him. He fell, and Kurogane caught him. With what had happened to the king, Fai could only hold his breath and pray that fate would be kind, and he wouldn't have to kill his friend. But time after time, fate proved to be indifferent to the plight of the unlucky magician.


	22. Titanium

Sakura had never fancied herself strong, at least not in the conventional way, and certainly not compared with her traveling companions. Those she traveled with were real warriors in every way: agile, powerful, and unyielding.

She was the pampered princess, the little girl, the one who needed protection…and she was sick of being a burden. They all risked so much for her, and now it was time for her to return the favor. As Fai lie recovering from his transformation, Kurogane stood, bleeding and bruised from his confrontation with clone Syaoran, and the real Syaoran, a stranger, silently looked on, she strapped on her gun and swung her leg over the cool metal of the hover bike.

She could do this. She had a different kind of strength: strength of the heart.


	23. Troublemaker

Kurogane didn't know why, but for some reason he always managed to get paired with the unruly wizard. He was nothing but a troublemaker, and yet…Kurogane was never bored when around him. The wizard was annoying, granted, but he had a certain charm that never allowed the irate warrior to remain mad at him for long.

"Kuro-pipi?"

Kurogane cringed at the bastardization of his name, as well as the plaintive tone of voice in which Fai spoke it. That tone never boded well for the warrior.

"What?" He knew he shouldn't have asked, knew there was no possible good that could come out of his query, yet some inexplicable force made him ask anyway.

"Nothing, I just like to say your name."

Smacking himself hard in the face, then regretting the action immediately (wishing he had hit the wizard instead), he grunted out his usual complaint that that _wasn't_ his name.

"Yes, but it's so much prettier, don't you think?"

Really, Kurogane couldn't say why he put up with this abuse. One day, he was bound to be driven insane by the inane prattle…but a small part of him couldn't help but be grateful to have someone (even an annoying leech of a wizard, forever plastered to his side) with whom to travel the long stretch of infinite dimensions.


	24. True Colors

Fai was always hiding, always running from something in his long life. It seemed like his entire existence was a continual chase, with he being the perpetual victim.

For the most part, the one person Fai seemed to be hiding and running from the most was himself. He wasn't being true to his nature. Lying, forcing down his magic, acting the fool: none of that was truly him, and one person in their party realized it.

"You can't run forever, mage."

Fai started at the sound of Kurogane's voice, closer than he had expected.

"Sooner or later you'll tire and the enemy will gain."

Fai smiled his usual bright smile, though he could tell this one lacked its usual brilliance, and he was sure his sad eyes gave him away. "I'll have you know I'm an accomplished endurance runner, Kuropu."

The wise warrior merely shook his head sagaciously. "That may be true, but I doubt you can outrun yourself."

Fai faltered, (caught in the act).

"I see who you really are, mage. And the person you truly are isn't this idiot coward you pretend to be. When you're ready to confront what's eating at you…I'll be here."

The wizard stared, dumbfounded at Kurogane for several minutes, his smile slipping, his eyes wide in shock.

Maybe it was time to show his true colors…but what colors were they exactly, and would they be accepted?


	25. Wide Awake

Sakura was in love. Never before had she experienced such a warm and happy feeling in the pit of her stomach. Just thinking about that adventurous brunette boy got her heart racing. She was bursting to tell him all she felt, however fate had other plans for the two lovers.

Sleep overcame the princess. A deep and fitful rest filled with dark silhouettes and empty rooms.

Once awakened, Sakura's love was lost. Replaced instead with indifference, then gratitude, then fond feelings. She'd fallen hard from her perfect pedestal of protection. Her castle crumbled around her leaving her in the dark, desperately searching for the brightness in an ocean of confusion.

She'd never fought during their journey for her memories, even though the burden should have been hers alone. That was until one fateful word when her mettle was finally tested. She broke out of her shell, steeled her courage, and ventured into the unknown armed with her wits, a gun, and the luck of a goddess.

She'd made it back though not without falling hard, and this time to help her up she had no steadying hand of the boy she'd come to love.


End file.
